Don't Zombies Eat Brains?
by chelseyelric
Summary: "Hey, Timmy?" "Yes, Hanna?" "Do you eat brains?" Read on to find out what happens after this big ball of awkward is dropped XD
1. Don't Zombies Eat Brains?

Hey guys, Chelseyelric herewith my newest fic. I've loved this pairing ever since I was sent a HINABN vid on youtube and I'm now an extreme follower! XD Anyway, I actually wrote this a few years ago, but am just getting around to editing it and posting it. Anyway I hope u enjoy and as a side note, I imagine Hanna to sound like Jack Spicer from Xiaolin Showdown and Zombie to sound like Doumeki from xxxHoLiC. :) ON WITH THE SHOW! XD

"Hey, Timmy?"

"Yes, Hanna?"

"Do you eat brains?"

If Akmed had been drinking something, he would have dramatically spit it all over his young companion's face. He made sure his features were carefully composed before speaking, "Why would you ask that?" he inquired. Hanna blushed a bit and began twiddling his thumbs.

"No reason, really. It's just that, in every zombie movie or comic book I've seen, the zombies drag their legs around; arms extended chanting 'BRRRAAAAAIIIIINS!' I was just wondering if, when you went out for your midnight walks, you went looking for brains to eat. And maybe it was because you didn't want to do it in front of me." The little carrot-top couldn't seem to stop mumbling random things and he was getting more and more flushed.

"Or maybe it's because you can only do it at night. It's not like I care what your diet is; I'd still be your friend. After all, Conrad drinks blood and I don't even know what Toni or Veser eat but I can't imagine it'd be much better. That being said, you would never eat MY brain, would you?" he finished, looking expectantly into Pepe's glowing red eyes.

Sherlock was shocked by the lengthy question. He had never known Hanna worried because of his walks. Dave's brow had begun to furrow, but when he saw the look on his charge's face, a look that seemed to mix fear with anticipation and trust, he couldn't help but want to please Hannah. When Condrikthis didn't answer, Hanna took it as a bad sign.

"I'm so sorry! You don't have to answer if I offended you or something," he said lowering his gaze and scooting further back into his chair at the head of their small kitchen table. He bit his lip like he always did to try and hide his sad frown.

'No, be happy, Hanna,' Dylan thought pleadingly. 'What can I do to make you happy again?'

It was then that Jack got an idea; one that made him smirk deviously (which is saying something because he almost never let his emotions manifest bodily).

He stood from his end of the table and walked up behind Hanna, placing his hands on the tiny shoulders of his employer. He leant over him and said gently, "No, I don't eat brains."

Hanna gave a huge sigh of relief and relaxed into his friend's touch.

"But I HAVE been craving some FLESH lately." Hanna tensed and whipped his head around, a worried look on his seemingly young face, but when he looked into Fujinaki's face, he saw a hint of humor gleaming in his neon red eyes. The dead man was joking.

Hanna smiled wide, as he tended to do almost all the time, realizing it was time to play. He sprang from his chair, causing the item to clatter to the floor, and very dramatically yelled, "No, please Mr. Zombie, I'm too pretty to be eaten!" He laughed and ran with arms high in the air into their living room.

This made Shaun, in turn, chuckle, a sound unheard in his afterlife. He raised his arms as he knew fictional zombies to do and, walking very slowly, droned out, "Flesh! I must have flesh!" in his deep baritone.

Evan ambled into the living area and listened for his Hanna. He could hear suppressed giggles coming from behind the couch, so, in a very uncharacteristic manner, he dove straight over the couch, narrowly missing the small body below his own gravity aided one.

Hanna let out a trademark 'Gnee!' and scrambled out of his best friend's way.

The zombie crawled closer and closer to his human prey, allowing no escape. "Fleeeeessssh"

Eventually, as often happened in his tiny apartment, Hanna's back hit the wall and he could move no further. Panting and flushed with happiness and excitement, he began spewing cliché lines again.

"Oh no!" he over emphasized. "I am now trapped by this undead fiend! I only hope it won't hurt too much" He exposed his pale neck to said undead fiend and waited with his eyes closed awkwardly. "Do with me...what you will" he breathed out and giggled.

Oh, how this made Mark's heart soar. Seeing the person that had never judged him, had helped him, had mended him and housed him so incredibly happy at a few cliché lines. He only wished he could do more. So much more. He leaned over the much smaller creature, grabbed hold of his sides and shifted their bodies together so Hanna's neck could meet his open jaws.

He nipped into the skin covering Hanna's pulse point and that's when the entire game they had been playing changed.

Hanna moaned. And not one of those little "Oh, what a world" fake moans, but a full blown, aroused to bursting moan of lust.

Charging Bull was speechless; frozen in place over his little "victim" in a way that he could not think to dislodge. In his mentally paused state, he let his lips lower onto the skin as well. He could feel Hanna's heartbeat pumping quicker and quicker and hear his breathing grow more ragged. Tino pulled his face back so he could see Hanna's. His cheeks were red, glasses fogged; the skin was slightly raised where Holenheim had bit him. Their bodies were pressed against each other and Clyde could feel the erection that Hanna had nearly instantaneously sprung.

Hanna attempted to cover the proof of his arousal but was failing miserably because of the 205 pound wall of zombie in his way. He settled for looking away instead.

Hanna thought his life was going to end right there from embarrassment. His best friend was going to leave him; think he was a freak. After all, no normal person got aroused by a zombie! Especially a zombie of the same sex.

Vlad stared into the distressed face of Hanna and for a full, agonizing minute, he contemplated. Contemplated about the pros and cons of this situation and of the future. He imagined their current friendship and how it would be if they did the things Robert knew were being craved. And that's when he decided to simply ask Hanna. That was the easiest solution at the moment because Vincent wanted to make Hanna never-endingly happy but he also never wanted to do something to Hanna that he would regret. Gil could take the rejection and feel fine as long as he could stay with Hanna forever.

He took the smaller body closer and whispered, for a second time, into his shell like ear," What do you want me to do next?"

To Be Continued in the next chapter when I get enough feedback :) (I live on comments and peanut butter XD)


	2. Can Zombies Get Erections?

Omg! I'm updating this fic! I love this story, I really do, so I have no idea why I haven't finished it already (probably due to school and work and other excuses) :/ Here's a lil some some to move the story along and I proooooomise I'll have it finished by the end of this month. Enjoy!

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><p><em>He felt Drake pull him close and, for the second time, whisper in his ear, asking, "What do you want me to do next?"<em>

_HINABN~HINABN~HINABN~HINABN~HINABN~HINABN~HINABN~HINABN~_

Hanna couldn't believe the situation! He thought he'd be able to go on pining after Artemis in secrecy, just secure in their friendship, but he hadn't expected a day when he was cornered with the zombie's mouth on his neck or whispering in his ear! Sure, he wasn't a teenager, but he was still young enough to get too flustered too quickly in a compromising situation. Oh, gods, was he embarrassed!

"I-I'm so sorry!" Hanna didn't know why he was apologizing, but he was. "You probably think I'm disgusting," he grumbled covering his face, nearly in tears. But he felt Levi's hands tenderly cover his and pull them down to make his eyes visible.

"No, don't be sorry, Hanna," he said, never letting the hands go. The zombie kept his bright red eyes locked on Hanna's shining blue ones as, again, he asked, "What do you want me to do?" Bringing the smaller male's knuckles to his cool lips, he gently confessed, "I would do anything for you, Hanna. Anything to keep you happy and by my side."

Hanna closed his eyes and scrunched his face in a cute mask of embarrassment. "Please," Damion said. "Please tell me."

A tiny thing fluttered nervously inside Hanna's chest then. A small, fragile feeling that had yet to be recognized by the man who'd created it. It was hope. Hope that Jake would be more than a nameless acquaintance, more than a bodyguard, and more than just his friend.

It had been so long but Hanna wanted someone to love and to love him back. And so, he said to the very willing man in front of him, "I want you to love me."

Joseph was taken aback by this statement. "But I do love you," he assured the carrot-top.

"No, I don't mean in a brotherly sense," the glasses clad detective clarified. "I want you to love me and fall in love with me so that you'll want to…" he turned away, "…make love to me." Tears began to lightly fall at this point, but Hanna couldn't hold them back. He was being laid emotionally bare and was expecting the worst.

Cory sat silently, patiently hearing everything Hanna had to say. When he was finished, he remained silent, thinking, until he couldn't stay silent anymore. "Hanna," he said quietly, waiting until he could see Hanna's eyes once more.

"How can you be so sure I'm against something, I've simply never thought about? What if, now that I know how you feel about me, I think I share your feelings?"

The tiny thing in Hanna's chest grew slightly.

"Really?"

"Have I ever lied to you?" was his answer.

Nick had Hanna's full attention at this point; the smaller man's lips curling into the smile Jose loved so much.

"Then…" the human gripped the zombie's coat sleeve.

"I need you to kiss me," he said faking confidence with tears still in the corners of his eyes, a small smile on his lips and his nose a bit runny.

Ando chuckled, having seen Hanna like this before and not being deterred in the slightest, leaned in for their first kiss. It was soft, cautious and new to both. Daniel couldn't remember having kissed anyone in the past and Hanna'd never kissed a zombie before.

Honestly, Hanna had been mentally preparing himself for a cold, stiff, decaying mouth with the noticeable scent of death, but he was pleasantly surprised. Peter's feel and smell weren't any different from another human being's.

His lips started out cool, but as the kiss continued with slow, experimental pecks, they began to warm aided by Hanna's own.

After a while, Hanna pulled away to embarrassedly wipe his eyes and nose using his sleeves. He sighed, cheeks pink, and looked up at his best friend.

"Um…" Hanna started biting his lower lip.

"Wanna go a little further?"

Sebastian planted a kiss on the redhead's forehead and asked, "Will it make you happy?"

"Yes."

"Then, yes," he replied, smiling.

His smile was rewarded with one from the younger being and he found himself being led to the couch he'd recently dove over. Hanna invited him to sit; then, after a moment of hesitation, he crawled into Dan's lap, straddling his waist.

"You don't mind, do you?" his employer asked.

Cotton lightly hit his index knuckle against Hanna's head. "Stop overthinking," he teased. "I want you to do whatever you like. You don't have to ask permission." "Oh. Yeah," he laughed out nervously. "Sorry."

Hanna shifted his small hips a bit, getting more comfortable and unwittingly reminding Jonathan that he was still hard. He then wrapped his arms around the zombie's strong neck and initiated another kiss.

This kiss seemed much more real because it wasn't light and slow, but a bit more forceful and explorative. They could not only feel, but also taste each other; a sense they had never shared before.

As time went on, Hanna's shyness began to fade more and more until it was nearly nonexistent. He would let small sounds of pleasure escape when he would pull away for breath, only to begin where the kiss left off.

He started to grind his hips against Flint's, seeking both friction and a reaction. To his surprise, Al's breath began to speed as well, even though the zombie had no reason to breathe.

"Why're you breathing so hard?" Hanna asked when his lungs couldn't stand the lack of oxygen, giving Sam a chance to kiss his pale neck.

"I don't know," Double Oh Seven panted out. "I can't remember ever breathing so heavily, even while running." "Let me check something quick," Hanna said, stopping the green skinned man's actions.

Hanna undid the zombie's pants to look for something he hoped beyond hope was defying nature in the same manner as the man's quickening breath.

And there it was. Only half hard, yes, but there and hardening nonetheless. The redhead let out an incredulous sigh, a gust of air that he hadn't known he'd been holding.

"I can't believe it," he murmured looking into Odis' questioning orbs. "You have an erection." Honestly, Dominic didn't know what to think. His mind was stuck between 'no duh' and 'no way'. Eventually, he simply pulled Hanna back up to give him a heated kiss and asked, "And what are you going to do with it?"

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><p>Another abrupt end! XD I swear to you, you guys, I WILL finish this before the end of the month. This has gone un-updated for so long, however, that I just couldn't stand the wait. The final chapter will have a suuuuuper awesome sex scene that was totally worth the wait. I promise. Until next time. :3<p> 


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